


Merry Thanks-East-Mas!

by hellpenguin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge: Scrivenshaft, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-01
Updated: 2005-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-01 17:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellpenguin/pseuds/hellpenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Made for the Scrivenshaft Challenge Cycle IV</p>
            </blockquote>





	Merry Thanks-East-Mas!

"I have an idea."  
It was with those four words that Remus knew the end of the world was not far off. James stood next to the squishy armchair Remus was reading in, his shadow blocking out the light. Remus, who was lacking his excellent ability to read and ignore anything James did, was forced to look up.  
James ignored Remus' wince at the mistreatment of books and haphazardly plucked Remus' book from his hands and flung it on the table. He collapsed on the couch.  
"Shouldn't you be telling Sirius? He's your evil twin. I'm but a lowly, law-abiding prefect."  
"No, Sirius isn't very good about this sort of thing."  
"What do you want me to do? Look up complicated curses in the Restricted Section?" James' eye twinkled mischievously.  
"Well, it's about Lily. I know you're ace in Muggle Studies…"

James and Remus stood in James' dining room, which was filled to the ceiling with shiny things and bright colors. There was a pine tree in the corner that looked like a clown had thrown up on it. There was also a very long table with what looked like a roasted ostrich and a huge bowl of solid and purplish stuff on it. Off in the other corner was a vat filled to the brim with what looked like the entire contents of Honeydukes, a fireplace that looked like half of Gryffindor could stand in it, and a coffee table with an aromatherapy cauldron on it.  
Remus' inky hands looked like he had been hastily scribbling hundreds of invitations, and James looked immensely pleased with himself.  
"See? I told you it would all work out right!" Remus looked exasperatedly at him and collapsed on a couch.  
"James? You are out of your mind. Let those be my last words to you if we get caught."  
"What are you talking about? We won't get caught! We have the map, the cloak, and years experience in Sneaking About!" James walked over the candy cauldron and plucked a few Caramel Crickets from it.  
"Your parents may be in the Alps, but they will know, like they always do, and they are going to behead you," Remus said.  
James sighed, walked over to Remus, and shoved some slightly-melted Crickets into his hand.  
"Relax. We're not going to get caught. Have some faith in me!"  
"Ha. Since when has faith in you and your devious ways ever gotten me somewhere good?" There was a knock on the door. Remus looked resigned to his fate and James excitedly rushed to open it.  
"Welcome to my humble--," Remus snorted at James' idea of humble, "Muggle Holiday Party! Got your required Creeting Gard?"  
"I do hope you mean Greeting Card, James," Remus sighed as Sirius, laughing, pushed a folded parchment decorated with quill scratchings at James and flopped down beside Remus.  
"So, where's the party?"  
Peter handed James a parchment square with "Merry Thanks-east-mas!" that danced on the front and sat down, too.  
"You are the first guests!" James looked with casually hopeful eyes as he glanced expectedly at the door, willing it to knock.  
"So what exactly is this thing, James?" Peter breathed in the scented smoke from the aromatherapy cauldron on the table in front of them.  
"This is a Muggle Party. With the help of my bookworm friend Moony here, I have combined all Muggle holidays into one!"  
"Why?" Peter and Sirius asked at once.  
"Because he's an idiot," Remus snorted.  
"Because Lily is muggle-born and this will make her feel at home! Obviously!" James said.  
"Muggles are weird," Peter said. There was another knock at the door.

An hour later, the room was filled with bits of folded parchment, chattering bodies, and a cat. James decided it was time to start.  
"Attention, everybody! First off, I'd like to say thank you for attending my party! Right now, we will start off with Th-Th-Thanks-snivelling!"  
"I think you mean Thanksgiving, Potter. Anyway, isn't that an American tradition?" Lily, in an emerald green sweater that matched her eyes, looked at James with an eyebrow raised. A few muggle-borns snickered behind her.  
"Um, well, yeah," James stuttered, running a hand through his hair, "but it's all about food, and who doesn't like food? Anyway, on with the festivities! We have turkey, pie, cranberry pudding, stuffing, and pie! Help yourself!" The crowd drifted over to the table and James tugged on Lily's sleeve. "Ah, my lady, you get the seat of honor!" He pulled out a seat at the head of the table for her, and she sat with a roll of her eyes.  
There were sounds of silverware hitting plates and general sounds of eating, when James leaned over to whisper in Lily's ear.  
"Well, milady? Is all thus suited to thy tastes?"  
"James, you are an idiot."  
"What be the matter, milady?" A couple of Lily's friends laughed. Lily flushed slightly.  
"Well, first of all—," Lily's words were cut off when there was a screech from the other end of the table.  
"Sirius Black, I am going to kill you!!" Gwendolyn Collins stood up, covered in purple-red goop, and pointed her wand at a shell-shocked Sirius. There was half a bowl of cranberry jelly spilling onto the tablecloth in front of his plate. In one quick motion, Sirius leapt from his seat and at the same time, the chair where he had just been sitting turned into a shoe.  
"I'm sorry, Gwen baby! If Remus hadn't stood up in the middle of my Accio, it never would have—Galloping Griffins!!" the rest of the cranberry jelly nearly hit his head as he ducked and ran. The jelly ricocheted off the couch and splattered on the walls and ceiling.  
"Oh, I see how it is! Blame it on me, will you?" Remus was standing, holding the empty bowl in his hands and smirking something awful. James was trying to smother his laughter in a bite of mashed potatoes, glancing at Lily and her shocked expression.  
"I didn't mean to-oof!" Sirius tripped over the table full of greeting cards and went sprawling. Another of Gwen's curses hit the table and sent a flurry of greeting cards, blackened and charred, flying all over the room. Some, still on fire, landed on the tree and its caroling topper, and were quickly doused with Remus' firefighting charm.  
"Maybe we should be moving on to Eavester!" James called out between chuckles. The cheering of the crowd drowned him out.  
"Don't you ever," Gwendolyn stomped towards the comical cowering Sirius, her wand sparking, "attempt to show off with a bowl of food in my presence again!!!" That time, when she mumbled the words and aimed her wand, she didn't miss.  
Sirius' hair was on fire.  
"Put it out! Put it out! Someone, please, my hair!"  
"If you stop running in circles, Sirius, I will!" Another blast of water from Remus' wand shot over Sirius' shoulder and put out the fire in the fireplace. The room was in an uproar. Tears were coming out of Lily's eyes as she laughed into James' shoulder. It was for this reason that James stayed where he was.  
"Oh, bugger it!" Sirius stuck his head in the punch bowl.

Sirius, his hair smoldering and smelling of pumpkin juice, lies on the bearskin rug as an owl sweeps through the window and drops a letter on his face. The room, once tidy and full of people, is deserted and trashed. Bits of ash and food are ground into the carpet, there are mashed potatoes on the ceiling, and Remus, James, and Peter are picking salad out of their hair.  
"I told you this would happen. But does anyone ever listen to me until it's too late? No," Remus mutters. James glares at him.  
"Did I know Sirius'd start a food fight?"  
"Come on, it's Sirius. Something always goes wrong," Peter states  
"Hey, you know, I'm in the bloody room!" Sirius calls.  
"Come on, Padfoot. You can't deny it," James pulls a crouton from behind his ear. Padfoot considers.  
"True. By the way, there's mail for you, Prongs," Sirius chucks the letter in James' general direction. James catches and opens it.  
"Bollocks." James nearly falls out of his chair as his eyebrows hit the ceiling. His friends look at him in alarm. "It's my parents. There's been a change in plans. They'll be home in thirty minutes." Silence.  
"So? Just Scourgify everything!" Sirius relaxes.  
"Um, Padfoot? You know I can't do a cleaning charm to save my life. Which is now. She said, before she left, ‘No parties,'" James moans, puts his head in his hands. There's a muffled shuffling, and then Sirius is on his feet and backing slowly out of the room, towards the front door.  
"Well, Jamie-poo, hate to say this, but you're on your own. I've got a date in forty-five minutes and I reek of smoke. Ta-ta!" Sirius shuts the door behind him. There's the roar of a motorbike that fades into silence overhead, and James glares at Peter.  
"Um, well, I do have three feet of potions homework," Peter stutters before he practically runs out of the room. The door shuts in the foyer James looks at Remus, who sighs.  
"What? I helped you get into this. There'd be loads of guilt on my part if I just walked away now," Remus picks up a greeting card, and sets it on the table.  
"Gah! There's no point in cleaning up now," James groans and pops another Caramel Cricket in his mouth. "They'd still know." He falls down backward on the couch, his head on the armrest, and closes his eyes. Remus drops the greeting card he had just picked up and lies down next to James, his feet next to James' head.  
"Mrreow?" A cat jumps into their laps and purrs instantly, settling down.  
"Whose cat is this?" Remus scratches under its chin.  
"Who cares?" James rests his hand on the cat's head and closes his eyes, trying not to imagine the many ways his parents will punish him.


End file.
